Self love: a vague term or one of the most important things in life? Loving yourself can be very difficult. In this article we tell you why it is important to love yourself.
What is Self Love?
Self-love has different interpretations. There is no fixed definition. So we made a collection.
Self love is…
… be kind to yourself
…love yourself without conditions
… acknowledging what you feel
… knowing what you need to feel good
… accept yourself
… loving your imperfections
… valuing yourself
… wish yourself luck
… putting yourself first
You can see that all these sentences are similar. They all have to do with you and nothing to do with others. And they are all positive. And that's essentially what it comes down to: positivity about yourself.
Why is self love so hard?
Self love is selfish. Self love is arrogant. Self-love is vain. Someone with self-love thinks he/she is perfect… These are some judgments about self-love. Maybe you think so too. Secretly, these are all excuses. Excuses for not loving yourself or working on your self-image.
Self love is a choice. Not an easy choice. You actively choose, every day, to put yourself first. To do things that feel good. To ignore negative thoughts of yourself and others or at least not let them be leading.
Self-love is selfish and that's okay. What you are the one who has to deal with yourself day in, day out. And what do you prefer? Someone who says negative things to you all day, or someone who is sweet and occasionally gives tips?
Why is self love so important?
Self-love is important for several reasons. Not just because it can make you happier.
Good for your mental health
Learning to love yourself also changes your perspective on the world. You are more likely to see the good around you when you see the good within yourself. So you get a more positive attitude to life.
You are also more inclined to make better choices. Choices that are likely to benefit your mental health. Choices that cause less stress. Choices that you are happy with afterwards, or even proud.
Self-love makes you experience less stress. And stress is disastrous, especially for your mental health. Prolonged stress can lead to anxiety and depression.
Strengthens the immune system
In fact, self-love literally makes you healthier. Not only mentally but also physically. In one study, one group of people listened to positive affirmations, while another group listened to criticism. The first group had a lower heart rate on average and produced less sweat. The group with affirmations were much more relaxed and that benefits your immune system.
More confidence
Sounds very logical right? More self-love gives more self-confidence. And who wouldn't want that? The feeling that you can take on the whole world. That you dare to say what you want to say, because you know that no matter what happens, someone will love you. Many people make choices based on fear. Fear of losing someone else's love. They need this love because they don't give love to themselves.
When you love yourself you also accept your less good points. Once accepted, they are no longer a problem. They are there and you can live with them. You stop hiding or solving your weak points. You do not ignore them, but accept that they are part of you. When you practice that you will notice that they will bother you a little less every day.
Better relationships
A person cannot live without love in any form. If you cannot give love to yourself, you will have to get it in another way. Often we look for it in other people. For example, by working very hard and always saying 'yes' to please others. Often this leads to a lot of frustrations, because you are probably not getting the love you are looking for. And You can even start hating another.
When you can give yourself love, you will also look at the people around you in a different way. You no longer have to bend over backwards for everyone. You now have the space to give love to the people you care about. And they can give love to you, because you are now pleasant to be around. After all, you are more relaxed and able to make time for the people you care about.
How do you increase self love?
Stop criticizing
The tip you'll hear everywhere: stop self-criticism. We are very good at criticizing ourselves. And in general, this criticism is not constructive. While we are bad at complimenting ourselves. It's the other way around for others. Giving compliments is easier than giving criticism.
Stopping self-criticism is hard. Or maybe impossible. You can't stop those thoughts, can you? And that's right. However, you can change how you deal with these thoughts. For example, by acknowledging that maybe not everything is perfect, but you did learn something, or that things did go well or that you did your utmost but just couldn't do it anymore. A good way to practice this is to ask yourself what a friend would say to you.
Take care of yourself
Those who are not careful can end up in a vicious circle. Someone who doesn't love themselves in any way often tends to not take good care of themselves. Think of unhealthy food and too little exercise. But also don't give yourself a massage or say 'no' to others in certain situations. We 'punish' ourselves consciously and unconsciously.
Unfortunately, that won't make you feel better at all. It only affects physical and mental health in a negative way. With a healthy, energetic body it is much easier to pick up the thread again. That's why a good night's sleep can have such an impact on how you look at the world.
Love yourself
You don't feel self love out of the blue. You will have to love yourself. Have to take action. Go do things that make you happy, make time to help others, sign up for that course you've wanted to do for a long time or treat yourself to something delicious.
Don't know where to start? Then grab a leaf and write down everything that costs you energy and weaves some energy. What brings a smile to your face and what do you look up to. Write everything down, without judgment. And be honest. You're okay with dreading fun activities.
The next step is to see how you can increase the list of energy providers and/or reduce the list of energy generators.
Self awareness
With the help of meditations and affirmations you can increase your self-awareness. Might sound scary. Because you don't want to look at yourself even more. But that's what's good to do. You learn to look at your thoughts in peace. And then you will see that these negative thoughts also go away. Or you question these negative thoughts. Is what I think correct?
By looking at thoughts at rest from a distance, you see them for what they are. Not truths, but thoughts. Thoughts that arise from fear and emotions.
So make a nice cup of golden matcha or treat your body to our supergreen and love yourself!
